Vintage Club Stories:
Underground Movement:
Writer: Carol Ann Aguero:


Martin and Carrie Taboo Toxic Love Story

The song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, by Cyndi Lauper began playing. Words are barely audible, muffled in a Dolce Gabbana purse. "Lynn, your phone. You forgot to shut it off or silence it." The floor supervisor called out from the end of a row of cubicles. Lynn, rushing to grab her phone, immediately saw the name. "Why would- But, she wouldn't ever – Oh Shit! Something must've happened to Martin!" Lynn thought to herself. Pressing the Send button to answer the silent ringing caller she called back to the supervisor, "I gotta take this – it's an emergency, I'll be right back."
Outside the office, in the hallway, a lilting voice on the other end begins speaking, "Lynn? Can you hear me?"
"Sorry. Janie? Wow. Yes, I'm working. Is everything okay? Martin? Is he okay?"
"Yes as far as I know – he's fine – I don't know, I guess." responded Janie, Martin's wife of 15 years. "Listen. I'm sorry for interrupting you. Just that I gotta clear something with you. I found some hair strands in Martin's Tribute. I know it's not mine. And, I know you and him are childhood friends and go way back and all. But, the hair – it looks like it can match yours – long and straight. And, it was in an awkward position of the passenger's seat, not on the head cushion. Please tell me the truth, are you having an affair with my husband?"
"Oh my God! What the Fuck? No b~" responded Lynn with a quivering voice, hiding something.
"But, what?"
"I don't know Lynn. Is there something you want to tell me?"
Lynn knew. And with all her heart, soul and being she wanted to tell Janie the truth about Martin. But, she fell silent due to the long history and loyalty to Martin. "No, I'm sorry – I'm distracted here at work. No Janie, I am not having an affair with Martin. Do you want me to speak with him?"
"No. I already did. He denies it of course. Keeps saying its my hair. The freaking son of a bitch. I know something is up. I just can't fucking prove it. Damn. He is so fucking good at covering his tracks. Look. I'm sorry. Please keep this conversation between us. Sorry I bothered you."
"You have my word."

Word. Words. Any combination of words used to deceive, manipulate or entice someone to do something totally inappropriate is called creative fucking genius for the guy benefiting from the situation. Let me tell you a story. True. Gut wrenching. Wicked. Horrific. On all levels. But, before you condemn me for my actions, I already beat you to the punch line. Sharing a story helps get it, whatever the fuck it is, out. I've been asked to be silent for so long by "Martin," people I've confided in, myself all because this story is about a taboo love that should never have happened but did. Though the love affair, not healthy to remember, ended, the self loathing rages inside. I want to turn this into something positive and constructive. A learning experience never to repeat ever again. How did I succumb to man like "Martin" ? Read on.

My mother dies March 2012. At the funeral, shock overwhelms me from seeing him – Martin. The guy I had a childhood crush on. Wow. So much time had past between Martin and my family that nobody remembered him but me. Another thing about time is that time does things for people. Time helps us stay away from places we shouldn't go. And, when you lose your last surviving parent. You need time before you can take on any serious decisions in life. Martin knew this. And, I was lost, alone and scared. I just lost my mom – went over the edge, deep depression. I vented quite a bit on Facebook. My Facebook page is filled with wonderful people. Some people are quite explicit sexually. And, poor sexless Martin saw an opportunity to contact me, after the funeral, and ask me questions about how hot I like sex to be. He was shocked that little Carrie Ann, innocent and naive had such sexualized thoughts. TWO MONTHS after the funeral of my mother, leaving no time to waste, Martin goes in for the seduction. I discover that I am the second that he has had an affair behind his dying wife’s back! Walk away – in the rare moments of clarity – every instinct in my gut told me to just walk away. I tried several times to get out of such a toxic relationship – but, oh Martin was so clever and knew how to reel me back in with an even sadder tale of how his wife either abuses him, or other even more dreadful stories. Of course, I stay. I hold him. I love him. He takes me for all I am. Deeper in the relationship, I learn he is suicidal or at least gives me the idea that he is (though it could have been just another one of those tricks he used to keep us in the relationship), it go so bad that even I became suicidal.

How did I get out? Did I ever get out? Did I want out? To be honest, I was so far out there and depressed and alone I couldn't answer truthfully what I wanted. Only one thing was for sure, I wanted to feel loved. Martin gave me that and helped me move to Austin where his job as a big time IRS guy was so we could be closer together and have more time together.

Life and love was fun. I have to admit, I loved having time with him and he made me see things about myself that no other man could help me with. I think the fact that I didn't have to deal with reality of losing my mother made me able to be open to Martin. Martin was my escape. However, as time went by, reality did seep its way into my life and began pulling me to the ground. I had an apartment with my dog. I needed to make sure I had secure employment to maintain the apartment and my dog's well being and my own. So, when I began focusing more and more about how to survive in a city like Austin. Time with Martin became less and less. Jealousy inside me grew deeper and deeper in me. I found myself to be like Janie, wondering if Martin was seeing somebody else besides me and Janie. He gave off all the clues that he was and then began telling me I was just like her always accusing him of cheating. But, he was. He was cheating on her with me. Now, he was cheating on both of us with someone else. Life just got confusing for me. And, the opportunity for me to get out of that relationship happened when I couldn't afford our secret hiding place in Austin, Texas. The apartment he and I would use to be “together.” Because I knew I was going to be homeless not having enough money for the apartment, I used what money I did have and impulsively bought a ticket to New York. I left my dog, some of my things, my mother's black and white wedding pictures and a necklace she gave me under his care. He and his dying wife took care of my dog for two months. Enough time and distance helped me realize that I had return to San Antonio. And, when I did return, I learned that not only did Martin knowingly dump my dog at a place where he was going to be turned into the city pound but he also threw away my mother‘s black and white wedding pictures and necklace. Everything.

"She said no, the hair is not hers. If the hair is not hers, its not mine, then who does it belong to?" asked Janie to her brother Leroy over the phone. Janie continued, "All I need is one piece of evidence. And, it's on. Martin is done. He is finished. Just one piece of fucking evidence."
"Janie, just divorce him. Leave him. You can live with me and my family."
"No Leroy. If I divorce him now with no evidence of him cheating on me, I get basically nothing. Well, nothing compared to what I can get from Martin if I can prove it. Oh here comes the dirty rotten scoundrel now driving up into the garage. Gotta go. Love you.
"Alright Sis, love you. I wish you would just take me up on my offer to take care of you. Call me later. Take care."
The two of them hang up the phone just as Martin walks in the door and hangs his hat and shuts the door.

Lights fade. And, so do I – until now. Let's talk.

What does this say about a man who would cheat on his wife that is dying? He told me – she wants nothing to do with him sexually, they are married in name only. He also asks, what is wrong with wanting a little intimacy from a woman? Gee – what’s wrong? All I know is everyone is wronged but one person here – Martin. Do I wait for Karma? Can I speed Karma up? Shall I give Janie her evidence she's been searching for such a long time now? Do I come clean and tell her it's my hair? I think. Only time can tell and a simple phone call or letter Fed Ex her way with a required signature from her only can tell.